


Maybe Christmas is Better Than Before

by moviesnbooksntvohmy



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:32:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5640979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moviesnbooksntvohmy/pseuds/moviesnbooksntvohmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leanne, Christa, and Malaya are all struggling around Christmas. Bad memories, recent problems, and relationship drama weigh heavily on them during their shift on Christmas night at Angels Memorial. Will anything redeem the holiday in their minds and show them that Christmas might be better than they remember?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Christmas is Better Than Before

Leanne hated Christmas. She was in a terrible mood as stood in front of her locker thinking about the fact that today was Christmas. This holiday reminded her of all that she had lost. Over the years she had been told so many time, by so many people, to focus on the good things. Focus on what you still have. Focus on the fact that you’re still alive. People think they’re so helpful. They don’t realize that being the only survivor isn’t something to be thankful for. This is why Leanne hates Christmas and why she would rather spend the day at work instead of sitting at home avoiding old in-laws, well-meaning friends, and the memoires. If she could work the whole damn 24 hours, she would. Unfortunately, due to federal regulations 14 hours was the max shift she could put in. She sung her locker shut a little harder than she needed to and turned around, ready to start her Christmas shift. Christmas always meant some extra crazy patients coming in, so that should keep her mind off of things. She turned to walk out of the locker room and immediately ran into Jesse on the other side of the door.  
“Hey Daddy” he greeted.  
“Hey Mama”  
“Another day in paradise, eh?”  
“If by paradise you mean patients who don’t want to be here more than ever and their crabby families, then yes, paradise”  
“Mmmm, going to be a fun day today with you”  
Leanne rolled her eyes and laughed. Jesse was always so good on days like this. He was the only one she could stand mentioning it at all. He brought it up, so it wasn’t a topic that was being ignored, but he didn’t focus on it and make her talk about things that made her uncomfortable. He was good at taking care of her emotional well-being. The rounded a corner and were almost to center stage as Jesse pulled on her arm so that she slowed to a stop.  
“Leanne, we gotta talk for a second”  
“What’s up, Mama?” Leanne asked cautiously.  
“The whole gang is putting together a Christmas thing tonight. It just so happens that our residents are all on tonight and they wanted to do something to liven the night up” Jesse told her quietly.  
“Jesse, no, I can’t…I don’t want to be there” Leanne stammered. She had never been close enough to a group of residents, or they hadn’t lasted long enough at Angels, to be invited to a Christmas celebration. That would throw her whole ignoring that Christmas exists plan into the wind.  
“I know; I know” Jesse grabbed her shoulders. “I wanted to let you know, but you don’t have any obligation. You just say your busy. You’re their boss anyway, they have to respect what you say” he chuckled. “It was better to hear it from me than from one of them and be surprised, right?”  
“Yeah, thanks Jesse. These are the best residents we’ve had, but I just can’t…” She trailed off sadly.  
“I know, Daddy. You are fine. Want to get to work?” He grinned at her.  
“Yes, yes please let’s get something done around here for a change” She raised an eyebrow and managed a small grin as they both turned and headed out onto the battlefield. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  


Christa hated Christmas. Christa blew the hair off her face as she finished unloading the bag of paper products and treats she had brought in today onto the counter in the kitchenette. She was a fan of Christmas on principal since it made so many people so very happy. But, ever since she lost her son she had struggled to find purpose in the celebration. At her core though, Christa was a people pleaser and cared a lot about her friends. She when Angus and Malaya brought up the idea of a little Christmas party during their long shift on Christmas she felt a need to help make the idea they were so excited about come true. So here she was unloading plates, cups, silverware, a fruit punch mixture, and some Christmas cookies and bars she made last night onto the counter in the ER staff kitchen area.  
Christmas made her miss her sweet boy more than ever. He had loved Christmas with all his heart. He waited anxiously for it starting in September and it took forever for him to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. How much he loved it had made her love it too. Without him it was even less purposeful than before he was born.  
She frowned at her line of thinking and tried to readjust her point of view to focusing on what she did have this year. She had more to be happy for this year than she could remember in the recent past. Her residency was going well, Malaya and Angus were amazing friends, and Mario was really becoming a part of the gang. Leanne and Jesse were the best mentors she could ask for at Angels, the most challenging and interesting hospital around. Working with Neal had been, in particular, the best way to learn.  
Christa blew her hair out of her face again as her mind became stuck on Neal. She should really just get back out to work and not think about him. Her chances of running into him were slim to none since he somehow had Christmas off. Ever since she helped cover for Mario he was so distant and cold. She did not understand how such a promising friendship, which he was the one to initiate outside of work, turned cold so quickly.  
She firmly stood by her decision to help Mario. The son of Mario’s patient needed someone to find him and Mario showing interest in helping anyone was amazing. She did not understand how Neal couldn’t see her side at all. Of course, he had to stand by the fact that Mario ignored his direction, but to completely shut out what they had had was hurtful.  
Christa shook her head and chastised herself. How was focusing on her issues with Neal affirming the good things in her life? She just desperately wished she hadn’t let herself think she could feel something like that again after divorcing her husband. She shouldn’t have let herself get caught up again, it just leads to more hurt. And Christa had had more than enough hurt in her life already. She simply needed to get through the Christmas party with her friends and then the holidays would be over and life could go back to the simple complications, not these holiday cheer-inflated issues. She threw the punch in the fridge and walked back out towards the hospital floor. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  


Malaya hated Christmas. And she was late. She ran through the doors of the ER, down the hallways covered in tinsel and mistletoe, towards the locker room. She managed to evade Dr. Rorish and exchange a quick glance with Jesse before ducking into the locker room and changing. This was so unlike her. Malaya prided herself on her ability to maintain focus, be timely, and appear professional at work at all times. She wished she could say she didn’t know what was wrong, but that was a huge lie. Carla was what was wrong. Ever since Carla found out about her terminal diagnosis Malaya had been trying to earn Carla’s trust back and be in the rest of her life, however long that was. Malaya’s problem was the fact that she wanted Carla to survive. That was always her problem and now that that was simply not a possibility Malaya didn’t know how to deal with it except to try and make amends and get back into Carla’s good graces.  
Carla was being stubborn as always though and was unwilling to expose herself to more pain because of Malaya. Malaya could understand that, but she simply didn’t want to. As an extremely stubborn person herself she knew a thing or two about holding out. When facing something as absolute as death Malaya just couldn’t see why this was worth holding out on for Carla. Maybe that was still their problem. If only she could understand Carla’s viewpoint more firmly. She sighed and put her hair up in a ponytail. She honestly had been trying and she was just hoping for some sort of Christmas miracle to get her back in touch with the woman she had loved so much.  
She had talked to Jesse and Dr. Guthrie Sr about it briefly. They both knew Carla very well and had given her good insight on how to best handle it. She had started small and slow. She visited her every few days, then started bringing her little things, some flowers or a note, and then stopped every day. Carla was cautiously kind, but refused to open back up the way that the two women had once connected. Whenever Malaya tried to talk about the diagnosis or the baby Carla locked up and wanted to rest and be left alone. Malaya honestly wasn’t trying to worm her way back into Carla’s decisions, she simply cared. Carla didn’t trust her yet and it was eating away at both of them.  
Malaya shook her shoulders out and prepared to go out and start the rest of her shift, time missed notwithstanding. People in the ER on Christmas would be difficult enough without a distracted doctor on top of it. She just couldn’t wait for the little Christmas get together she, Angus, and Christa had planned. Hopefully that would take her mind off of it, stat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  


The shift had been hell, but it had slowed dramatically and at the end people broke away into the kitchenette and got into the Christmas spirit. Christa was enjoying her time as host doing all of the busy work with the food and drinks. Malaya and Angus were sticking together as they kept up the Christmas spirit throughout the party. Mario seemed to be having a grand old time considering most people there didn’t like him not too long ago. Taylor showed up despite his paid leave to get into the Christmas cookies and check in on how things had been running during his break. Jesse was the hit of the party between everybody being happy he was alive and general enjoyment that their mama was there to cut a little loose with them. Everybody truly enjoyed the break from the stress of the night.  
Everybody except a certain Dr. Rorish, who sat in her office plowing through her mountain of paperwork. She sighed, leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes. What a long night.  
She noticed someone walking by her window and furrowed her brow when she saw it was Cole. She picked up a stress ball on her desk and threw it at the window to get his attention. She saw him jump when the ball made impact with the window and chuckled to herself. He turned and glared through her window before coming back to her doorway and leaning against the doorframe. She started to speak when he jumped in right before her.  
“You know, I’d ask if you knew there was a party going on down in your ER, but of course you do. And why would you want to go have some fun?” He asked with a grin and raised eyebrows. Leanne smiled back and indicated the pile of papers on her desk with a nod of her head.  
“No time for that tonight” She smiled. He gazed at her thoughtfully.  
“I hate Christmas too” he said. Leanne stiffened and he added “nobody said anything about you or your past. I can just tell the look. The look of someone who has Christmas too associated with other people to enjoy it.” Leanne sighed and visibly relaxed in front of him.  
“I know I am pretty obvious, but I just hate the whole spectacle of Christmas.” She paused and steeled herself for what she was going to say next. “After you lose the ability to see it through your child’s eyes, it never feels the same again.” Cole didn’t show any of the surprise he felt with Leanne’s disclosure about the people she had lost. He simply nodded and tried to explain how he felt as well.  
“My mom loved Christmas more than any other holiday” He started, “she was always decorating the entire house and baking cookies and stuff. She was happiest in that time. That’s what I thought at least. Christmas was so happy, but it was also the time that she ended up being the least happy.” He had wandered further into her office during his revelation. Leanne smiled sympathetically up at him as he leaned against the edge of her desk.  
“Maybe we should make Christmas new again” She said as she stood up and slowly leaned in towards him.  
“Doing some more living?” He asked quietly as she almost reached his lips.  
“Mmmhmmm.” She replied. They kissed slowly and sweetly and Leanne thought that maybe Christmas wasn’t quite as terrible as she had remembered it being lately.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Christa hummed happily. The shift had kept her mind off of her son and the holiday as a whole and the party did feel nice. She had always liked to throw parties. Her son had some of the best birthday parties a little kid could ask for. So, despite the sadness associated with the day Christa enjoyed the familiarity of planning, organizing, and overseeing. Unfortunately, it appeared that Leanne had not found the same comfort in the chaos of the shift so far. Christa hadn’t seen her at the party at all and made a note to try and check on her after. Not in a checking-up way though, just a friendly coworker, after shift way. Christa grabbed some more cookies to put out on the break room table and when she was about to turn around she heard a voice say:  
“Happy Christmas, Christa.” She turned and looked straight into the dark eyes of Neal Hudson.  
“Neal. I didn’t think you’d…you weren’t working so I figured that…”  
“I was around Angels and since I knew there was a posh party I hadn’t been invited to…”  
“Posh is hardly the word to describe this” she gestured around the room, “but, you would have been invited, it just wasn’t a formal thing.” He grinned at her, the warmest look he had given her in weeks, and looked very amused.  
“I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute out there” he asked as he gestured into the hall.  
“Yeah, that’d be fine” Christa answered, extremely confused. Maybe another problem had come up he wanted to discuss with her. She followed him into the hallway and smiled as he turned to look down at her.  
“I wanted to give you this” he said and held out a small package. Christa took it, giving him a questioning look.  
“I didn’t have time to get you anything” she said apologetically, thinking briefly about that fact that even if she had gotten him something, he wasn’t speaking to her anyway.  
“I just figured this time of year may be hard and I wanted to brighten it up a little.” He smiled. “Open it!” She tore the paper off and gazed down on a small picture frame. The word family adorned the top and there was a picture of her, Malaya, Angus, Mario, Jesse, and Neal inside taken in Jesse’s recovery room. The bottom of the frame read “friends are the family we make for ourselves”. She looked up at him with watery eyes.  
“Neal, this is so thoughtful. I can’t…thank you so much” She managed to say as she looked back down at the lovely picture.  
“I understand what happened with Mario. You were protecting your friend the same way you protect your patients and the people you love. I was just hurt that I was the one you were lying to. I thought…I thought a lot of things. But, I do understand. And I am sorry I have been so distant lately.”  
“What did you think Neal?”  
“What? Oh, it is really not important. I just had some assumptions and possibly misguided…ideas and such that turned out to be…”  
“Neal, what did you think?” Christa looked straight into his eyes with determination written all over her face. Neal sighed.  
“I just thought you and I had a relationship that may be becoming more special I suppose. I am sorry that I misjudged the situation.” He looked down and clenched and unclenched his hands. Christa’s face broke out into the biggest smile as she felt her heart pick up in speed. She reached down slowly and grabbed each on Neal’s hands in her own. He looked up with a question written on his face.  
“I thought so too, Neal. I was so hurt when you were ignoring me. I thought I had ruined everything. And I am sorry that I didn’t tell you about Mario, but I know I did the right thing. I also technically made a point not to lie to you. I just wasn’t totally forthright.” She grinned up at him. “But, I am sorry I made you think that what we had started wasn’t…special.”  
“I understand that you were following your heart. I should be used to it by now. I just don’t want anyone to think that you can get away with things because of how I feel about you.” Neal actually blushed a bit as he said the words to Christa. Christa felt herself flush too.  
“I feel the same way.” She said quietly. Slowly, she tilted her head up and leaned towards Neal. Instinctively, Neal leaned down and their lips met. It started out innocently and after a moment Neal pulled back and looked down at her.  
“This is alright?” He asked quietly. She smiled up at him.  
“Very much yes.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah.” And with that he leaned back down and that kiss quickly became much more. Her hands traveled up to his hair and one of his hands went down to her waist and the other up to her neck. They stood there caught up in each other when all of a sudden.  
“Well look at that.” They broke apart and turned to look at Jesse standing in the hallway, grin on his face. “I called it. I called it the day you showed up. Leanne owes me $5.” Neal and Christa laughed cautiously.  
“So, this will end up being alright?” Christa questioned. Jesse waved her off shaking his head.  
“You two little lovebirds are fine. Go home Dr. Lorenson, your shifts done anyway. Merry Christmas.” With a suggestive wink he turned and went back into the party. Christa and Neal laughed together turning to face each other once again.  
“Breakfast Dr. Lorenson?” Neal held out a hand.  
“Yes please, Dr. Hudson.” Christa beamed at him as she took his hand. As they headed towards to locker rooms and out of Angels Memorial Christa thought about how, just maybe, Christmas with a new sort of family could have a little meaning once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  


Malaya was not having fun. That’s not totally true. Angus was cleverly distracting her and it was fun to see everybody so happy and full of Christmas cheer. But, Malaya herself had no holiday cheer and she just wanted to go check on Carla. This wasn’t what Carla would want though, so she tried to stay put at the party and enjoy herself. Jesse sidled up to her and took just one look before he grabbed her and pulled her to the side.  
“You need to bring up the cheer. This is the first Christmas of my second life experience, celebrate with me!”  
“Mama I want to, but I am just so torn on how to get Carla to come around.”  
“I know girl, maybe you should take another shot at it. At least you could get your head back into the party if you know you tried again.”  
“You really think?”  
“Normally with Carla I would say no, but she’s on a time crunch and I think you both deserve it.” Jesse pushed her a bit. “By the way, look who I invited.” He turned her and Malaya was face to face with Carla.  
“Hey Malaya.” Carla started. Jesse slipped off as Malaya stepped towards Carla.  
“Hi. How are you? Are you up to this? How’s the baby? Are you okay?” Malaya stammered out. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect to see you here, but I am so happy you are here.”  
“Merry Christmas.” Carla smiled at her as she moved to sit down at the table. “I’m sorry, I’m just too tired to be standing too much.”  
“No need to apologize” Malaya responded quickly. “I like to sit too. I just didn’t think to do it right away. Of course you’re tired.”  
“Malaya, it’s fine. I came down for one very specific reason and I want to get it taken care of right away.”  
“Okay. What can I do?”  
“Just listen.” Carla said firmly. “I want to tell you that I understand all the things you have done. The closer I get to having this baby the more I realize that, for people you love, you’ll do anything to keep them. But this is my choice, my life. I am now going down one particular path. I need you to respect that, especially since there’s really no way out of ‘terminal’. If you can tell me that you respect my choices and decisions, then I really, really want you back in my life.” She paused and looked at Malaya with tears in her eyes. Malaya grabbed Carla’s hand and held on tightly. “This is probably my last Christmas and I want to spend it with you. Please.” She gripped Malaya’s hands as tightly as she could. Malaya felt tears come to her eyes too.  
“I just wanted to save you. You mean the world to me. I am sorry you felt betrayed because all I wanted to do was keep you. And I lost you anyway.”  
“Just say you understand and we are good.”  
“I understand. I really do Carla. I know how much you already love that baby. And I love you. I won’t let you down again.” Carla smiled and looked down at the table, letting out a breath.  
“Wanna go watch Greys Anatomy in my room and make fun of the inaccuracies in it?” Carla asked excitedly.  
“Absolutely. Let me go tell Angus I am leaving.” Malaya jumped up and wished Angus a Merry Christmas. On her way back to Carla Jesse grabbed her and whispered:  
“Merry Christmas Dr. Pineda. Glad you got your girl.”  
“Merry Christmas Jesse. Thank you. For everything.” As Malaya reached Carla and helped her up and towards the elevator she smiled and was thankful that this Christmas had really turned around for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Merry Christmas late and I hope we keep growing this Code Black fandom together :)


End file.
